


I Hate You (I Hate You Not)

by grumpygemini



Category: Oasis (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-15
Updated: 2017-05-20
Packaged: 2018-04-14 18:45:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4575627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grumpygemini/pseuds/grumpygemini
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Now he was thinking clearer he knew that, yes, number 3 on the list of  “things-Liam-Gallagher-hates” was himself. In bold, capitalized, maybe even some exclamation marks tacked on for good measure. Also known as: Liam wants Noel to hate him as much as he hates himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Laura for beta-reading most of this story!

People always said that there’s a thin line between love and hate. Liam Gallagher however was pretty sure there was an ocean’s worth of past mistakes and forgotten words separating the two from each other. No fucking way he’d _ever_ set foot in its unreliable waters like a naïve child. He was much too afraid it’d swallow him and turn him into some kind of idiotic merman. He had successfully managed to run away from this ocean, making sure that he either fucking _loved_ something or hated something with a burning passion.  
  
For one, he was sure he hated Manchester United more than anything in the world, and that would never turn into love. Two, Noel Gallagher was a fucking twat. A twat he lost the phone number of... and when the hell did he do that? He groaned as he remembered a night with maybe a little more alcohol consumption than even his Irish roots could handle, in which he had drunkenly sworn to never contact his older brother again. He, of course, had immediately deleted Noel’s phone number from his phone to set deed to his words. ( _Fucking idiot.)_  
  
The memory of that particular night had put a bitter taste in his mouth, which he quite naturally tried to drown out with the source of his initial problem; alcohol. As the salty taste of regret mixed with the vile taste in his mouth, a sudden wave of anger washed over him ~~,~~ and he threw away his bottle with as much force as he could.  
For one moment, the sound of glass breaking was the most satisfying sound in the world, drowning out any kind of white noise that was filling his head. He felt momentary relief as he breathed out to get any remainders of tension out of his body. Now he was thinking clearer he knew that, yes, number 3 on the list of “things-Liam-Gallagher-hates” was himself. In bold, capitalized, maybe even some exclamation marks tacked on for good measure.  
  
_Fuck_. He needed someone. Someone who hated him at least as much as he hated himself. And the only one who he could think of who applied to that criteria was the person who was the least reachable at the very moment. _Fuck_.  
  
He collapsed on the couch with a groan, covering his face with his hands. He knew there was one option left to contact Noel, but he wasn’t sure if he was ready to sink that low. He had frequently used the magic of twitter to let his frustrations aimed at a mental image of his grumpy looking older brother go, but surely now wasn’t the right time, was it? Added to that, he wasn’t even sure if he’d get a reply, which would only make it more pathetic. He looked over at his phone on the saloon table in front of him, looking awfully tempting. With a sigh that was pretty close to saying “I’m about to make a huge mistake” he unlocked his phone.  
  
“Liam calling. except not coz I lost your number.LG x”  
  
He was totally _not_ slightly surprised when he heard his text tone beep the following morning. And if anyone saw the ghost of a smile on his lips, he knew where to hide their body.  
  
_You know where I am when you need me._  
  
Wanker.  
  
\--  
  
  
Alright. So he indeed knew where Noel lived. And he might have turned up outside of his house. Oh, and there might have been a typically London type of rainfall which soaked him to the bone for dramatic effect. But aside from that it was not going to be anything like a missing scene from Love Actually.  
  
For a split second he thought that he must look absolutely miserable. Bags under his eyes from lack of sleep, hair dripping wet and hugging the shape of his unshaven face and above that the gained weight...but before he could pay too much attention to that the door opened, revealing a much better looking Noel. And _god,_ he hated him already for looking so much better than him whilst wearing clothes that were clearly not meant for the public eye. He was wearing a grey shirt that seemed a size too large for him with a pair of loose-fitting sweatpants, his hair poking out in a way that strangely reminded him of a dishevelled owl.  
  
“You gonna come in or what?” Noel said, snapping Liam back to reality. His face didn’t give much away, but Liam could clearly see the wary look in his eyes. Noel was watching him like he was a lion ready to strike at any unexpected moment, which frankly was a good comparison to how Liam felt opposed to Noel now.  
  
“You want me to?” Liam replied, putting the ball back into Noel’s court.  
  
“Yes.” He stated, his body tensing up clearly indicating a “no”. He moved aside a bit to let Liam in and Liam took the opportunity to march past him into the house, leaving a trail of the summer rain behind on the floor. As he walked in he noticed the domesticity of the house. Pictures everywhere, a stray drawing of stick figures resembling what must be his brother and his wife and - was that a cat? Liam pointed at it, grinning smugly.  
  
“Didn’t know yer misses had whiskers.”  
  
He caught Noel’s eye roll before he turned around to inspect the rest of the house, but a voice cut him off mid-turn.  
  
“Are ya gonna explain why you’re here before you start going all Dora the Explorer?” Noel had crossed his arms, strangely resembling a parent waiting for their kid to admit to stealing from the cookie jar. Liam huffed in response, raising his chin to prove that he was not a child anymore, _thank you very much_.  
  
“Yer a wanker.” He simply stated. Expecting at least a muttered response of “you too” or a glare.  
  
Noel however, simply raised his eyebrows in an _“oh”_ gesture.  
  
“You want something to drink?” Noel asked after a short pause, making it try to sound casual. As if Liam, who grew up in the same room, would buy into that. He could easily see it was simply his way of trying to divert the subject. He was probably planning to get some drinks, sit on the couch and talk about the fucking weather like they were best mates. Maybe that worked with people such as that idiot of a Russell Brand, but surely Liam would prevent that from happening. Especially considering the cause of his visit was _not_ to hang out with Noel.  
  
He took a few steps in his direction, closing the distance between them to roughly one and a half step.  
  
“What are you playing at, Noel?” He squinted his eyes, tilting his head a little. “Don’t have the balls to go off on me like you do to interviewers all the time?” Noel simply stared back at him, showing very little sign of having even heard his insult. Whatever walls Noel had built up, Liam was determined to crumble them down.  
  
“You’re the most pathetic, miserable twat I know. You’re just like our old man.” He spat, inching closer to Noel to set more power to his words. Noel sighed and leaned away from him, still not showing any kind of reaction aside from that. And it drove Liam nuts. He lashed out, aiming for his face.  
  
And that’s where Noel reached out to stop him, holding him firmly mid-swing. It was where the waves of regret and anger hit the cliffs of the mainland. A constant movement meeting an unstoppable force. He angrily tried to get Noel to release the hold on him, to regain the freedom of the sea. He wanted to break the cliffs, give room for the ocean of greys between love and hate. He wanted Noel to _feel_ , to realize their shared past could not be forgotten. Most of all, he wanted Noel to hate him like he had done for years. He wanted him to punch him, to replace the ache he had felt for years with physical pain. He took a swing with his free hand, only to get stopped again.  
  
“Stop it.” Noel said firmly, squeezing a little tighter to put emphasis to his words.  
  
“Let me go you fucking c-“  
  
“I said ~~,~~ stop it.”  
  
And that’s when Liam decided to use Noel’s hold on him against him, changing their point of balance so he could shove him back into the wall. Noel winced as his back collided with the wall, and if Liam wasn’t in his piss poor mood he’d have considered that _shit_ , they weren’t young men anymore. The hold on his arms lessened and Liam took the chance to pin them against the wall, safely out of reach. The waves crashed over him, surrounded him. Licking at his body to drag him under and drown him, and he needed Noel. He wanted to claw at him, to beg him with his fists to hurt him. The water creeped closer as he realized this particular position didn’t grant him much options. His hands were around Noel’s wrists and his words seemed to ricochet of the smaller man’s body.  
  
He took in a shaky breath, whispering. “I fucking hate you.” Before he did the only thing that he knew could push Noel’s buttons.  
  
He kissed him.  
  
It wasn’t like any of the playful kisses they had shared during their lifetime. This was fierce, pure desperation and anger making the water crash into the land. He pressed his body closer along with his mouth, connecting their bodies into a smooth line with sharp and contradicting angles. But he wanted to get closer, he needed to get closer. He needed to break down the physical barrier that Noel had neatly built up during their time apart. He bit down on Noel’s lower lip, _Please fight back. Give me this. Please._ Noel replied with a soft noise, opening his mouth in a silent allowance, letting Liam continue. He deepened the kiss, getting closer and closer. Clinging to him like he was the one person that mattered, the one that could make him feel like he was alive and breathing, finally.  
  
He released his grip on Noel’s wrists to allow his hands to wander, ending up with one in his short grey hair and one on his hip, drawing him in even closer. His warmth and familiar smell surrounded him, making his head spin as the heat seemed to radiate off his brother and fill his entire body. It was a pleasant feeling as it washed over him and he took the opportunity to dive into it. Enjoying the opportunity to finally have a welcoming heat after the chill of the past months.  
  
He wanted to know the effect the kiss had on his brother and he slowly pulled back, making sure to keep as much contact with the rest of his body. As he opened his eyes he was surprised with the sight that greeted him. Heavy lidded eyes, flushed cheeks and slightly swollen lips, revealing some blood that he had drawn when he had bitten on them. And _fuck_ , he hadn’t even realized that, but now that he saw the affect he had on Noel he could chase down the taste of copper in his mouth. And _fuck_ , it shouldn’t be this arousing to see his own _brother_ in this state, but it totally was. He tugged his hair slightly, causing Noel to shut his eyes and moan softly, exposing his neck slightly. The sight went straight to Liam’s groin. He leaned in slightly, nibbling on his neck and jaw before moving to his ear.  
  
“I fucking hate you.” He whispered. It wasn’t quite _“you look absolutely gorgeous like this”_ , but sharing lovey-dovey stuff was never an area of expertise for the Gallaghers. He moved to kiss him again, placing the hand he had put on Noel’s hip to palm his crotch instead.  
  
And that’s where everything suddenly went quickly. Eyes shot open, hands collided with the chest of the taller brother, shoving him backwards due to the element of surprise. Before he even caught on to what happened he realized he was alone. Noel had left him. _Again._ He could still feel Noel’s lips on his, making his lips tingle as a stinging reminder that he fucked up, majorly. His mind was racing, strings of _“you’re a fucking idiot”_ and _“you’re worthless”_ flickering like huge neon lights in his brain. He felt his body shaking, struggling to keep up with everything that was happening. The walls felt like they were closing in, but he didn’t want to go outside and have the chance of anyone seeing him in this state. He breathed in and out slowly, closing his eyes to try and steady himself.  
  
Where would he have to go now that he had gone too far? He couldn’t just leave, he wouldn’t allow Noel to run off like he did last time, with things unsettled between them and haunting nightmares to follow. He rubbed his temples as he walked over to the couch, deciding that at some point Noel was bound to return to his own house. Until then he’d wait, making sure the bloody cat would not starve because of its asshole owner and his brother. Or at least, he told himself that.


	2. II

He woke up to the following day to the sound of an acoustic guitar being strummed lazily.  There was no particular order in chords, at least not one Liam recognized to be a song, but it filled the room nicely and didn’t motivate him to open his eyes just yet. The sun was playing with the angles of his face, creating patterns and shades that chased each other down on his eyelids. He melted into whatever surface he fell asleep on, stretching gently to enjoy the feeling of muscles getting rid of the morning stiffness. Once relieved of his tension he focussed on the guitar playing again, still determined to at least figure out what chords were being used. He was never the most skilled of guitarists, and one could argue if you could even consider him one, but he knew for sure that he recognized a G chord. He furrowed his brow, the chord faded and took the shape of something that sounded roughly similar, but with just a little change to the lower strings. Liam shifted a little, turning his head so one ear was pointed more towards the playing.  
  
And then it clicked, the chord progression, the way of strumming the chords. It was all so familiar, giving him an ache in the chest as he remembered the Oasis days. _Noel._  
  
His body tensed up, preparing itself to run for the door or anything else that could function as an emergency exit. He opened his eyes slightly, trying to confirm his suspicions on his whereabouts. Stray toys, a stack of some kind of ladies’ magazine and, of course, the cat. Even the cat has a _larger-than-average-nose_ , he briefly noted. It was all so typically Noel, and that made him realize that yes, he indeed spent the night at one of the most unlikely places to see Liam Gallagher, as voted by some readers of a local tabloid. (Probably.)  
  
Memories started to flush over him, making him want to disappear into the couch he had fallen asleep on the night before. He groaned softly, not wanting to notify the older man of him being back in the land of the awake. The amount of mistakes made in one night must have been a new record for him, and that was saying something. First of all, he had _kissed_ Noel, that already counted as ten mistakes on the list of ‘stupid-things-Liam-does’. The eleventh mistake would be the fact that, against his better judgements, he actually enjoyed it. It had filled him with a warmth he hadn’t experienced in a long time, and despite his underlying anger and panic he had felt _safe_.  
And it shouldn’t feel safe, there was so many between them that had fuelled the water trying to swallow him. But yet, when he had been close to him, feeling as if they were one physical body, he could breathe. Noel was the source of his problems, and at the same time the solution. How bloody ironic.  
  
He just needed Noel to pay attention to him, to either love him or hate him. Maybe they were like a planet and its moon and one could never get two apart even if they tried. In that case he’d be earth, having its tides be controlled by the moon. Except earth didn’t fuck up and scare the moon away, which was exactly what he had done the night before. _Again_. Noel had come back, but it was his house he had returned to, not Liam. This time it was up to him to make sure they wouldn’t walk the same paths again as last time, intersecting once to never meet again for years.  
  
“I don’t hate you.” He said softly, it was a pathetic attempt at saying _I’m sorry._ Then again, discussing feelings was never his strongest thing.  
  
He could hear the playing stop abruptly and he held his breath to listen. The sudden lack of sound in the room made him anxious, wondering if Noel had somehow managed to not notice his presence in the first place. He was startled by the sound of a guitar being put aside and the sound of fabric moving. It didn’t take long before a familiar shape appeared in his line of sight. If yesterday was Noel’s dishevelled owl look, this was the ‘pigeon that got hit by a bus. Twice’. He looked like he was running on the last bit of energy he had left, and Liam was sure his observation wasn’t too far from the truth.  
  
“Get out.” Noel said weakly, voice matching the dreary presence.  
  
Liam didn’t move an inch, staring at Noel like he was a game of Operation. One wrong move could mean the end of _everything_ , whatever they were having, and it was frightening.  
  
“Liam…” Noel sighed, and Liam’s ache in his chest increased at the mention of his name. “Either you tell me what the fuck you were doing yesterday, or get out and never return to my fucking _house._ ”  
  
And that was just _unfair_. How could he possibly explain Noel, out of all people, the motives behind his strange endeavours when he didn’t even know them himself? He glared at Noel, but it faltered quickly as he realized it wasn’t _his_ fault that he couldn’t figure himself out. Liam averted his gaze, looking anywhere except Noel. He was strangely good at fucking up for the both of them.  
  
“Fat lot of use you are.” Noel muttered, a little bit of disappointment being noticeable at the lack of response from his younger brother.  
  
The words stung, and not necessarily due to the insult, but more so because of the tone. Liam’s eyes made its way back to his brother again, still not looking him directly in the eye.  
  
“I don’t know.” He said, voice near breaking. It scared him hearing his own voice like this, it made him feel like the young boy in front of his older brother again. So oddly vulnerable and ready to crumple under his gaze. So he does what he always does, lifts his chin in a challenging matter that makes him seem invincible. “I just don’t fucking know.” He said, louder. Trying to test if his voice was still functioning like it should, but also an attempt at making Noel magically _understand._  
  
Of course he didn’t. Instead he raised his arms in exasperation, dropping them again with a frustrated sigh. “What d’you want me to do, huh?” Noel stepped closer to the couch, leaning on the armrest with one hand, to continue in a slightly more annoyed tone. “First you walk into my house to fucking shout at me like a fucking cunt, and then you-“ Liam glanced up at the cut off sentence, but Noel glared at him in a way that said _“don’t you dare to interrupt._ ”  
  
“Then the next morning you still sit here like a miserable cunt just _moping..”_ His expression softened a little, tired voice as he follows it up; “You’re a fucking mess.”  
  
Liam got up into a sitting position, leaning forward to linger at the border of Noel’s personal space. He squinted his eyes, tilting his head slightly, trying to figure out if Noel looked less like a prick from a different angle.  
“You think you’re ‘the man’ now, well guess what. You are alright?! You got everything you fucking wish for, and everything’s going exactly how Noel fucking Gallagher wants it. Isn’t that _great._ ” He stood up, feeling the need to get on eye level with the other man. “You got _everything_ , but some people got _nothing_. Can’t you fucking see that?”  
  
“Liam-“  
  
“No, you wanted me to talk, I’m talking.. Alright?” Noel replied with a stiff nod, a challenging look ghosting over his face. “You just… “ Liam took in a sharp breath, taking a quick look around the room before focussing on Noel again. “You drive me _nuts_ man. Even when you’re not there. Or well, you are there cos you’re _everywhere_. Slagging people off left and right, having a successful band, guest appearances with people whose dick you’d suck. You don’t know what it’s like to have people constantly leaving you behind. Including your own _brother._ ”  
  
“I-“  
  
“Multiple times.”  
  
Noel shook his head in disbelief. “You don’t even fucking realize.” He mumbled whilst taking a small step towards Liam. “I’d have stayed if you weren’t such an insufferable twat. I mean -- You fucking _groped_ me!”  
  
Liam raised his eyebrows a little at Noel’s choice of words, not expecting his brother to address the elephant in the room. Surely he wouldn’t give him the room to change subjects now.  He inched a little closer, cocky grin appearing on his face. “You liked it.”  
  
Risky move, but it caught Noel off-guard, a faint hint of a blush showing before he attempted to hide it with a glare. He was standing close enough to Liam to need to physically look up in order to maintain eye contact. With any other person his height Liam would laugh at their attempt to be intimidating, but Noel gave off a strong _don’t-fuck-with-me_ vibe that Liam had learned to respect at a pretty young age.  
  
“Fuck off.” Noel grumbled, shifting his weight a little indicating he wasn’t entirely comfortable with the situation.  
  
“Aaahh c’mon Noely…” Liam leaned in closer, placing a quick little playful peck on his jaw, lingering there a little with a wolfish smile until he felt the smaller man pull away a little. There was a questioning look in his eyes, but also something that’s a little close to uncertainty. An expression Liam knew Noel didn’t favour, always so keen on staying in control in any kind of situation, so it was only natural that he decided to push _just_ a little more, mouth so close to Noel’s that they almost shared the same breath. He could see the lines on Noel’s face so clearly, most of them through shared experiences and years of being on the road together, carved into a way that just screamed one thing to Liam: home. He craved to return there, to feel the body of one of the only things he has lost but can get back. Liam’s arms slowly made its way around the smaller body, caging him in just slightly as he only wanted to pull and grasp and push away, but mainly _take._  
  
Noel’s body was not entirely as convinced as Liam’s, muscles tensed up at every point their bodies met, jaw set in an attempt to keep the stern older brother role going. “I can’t—Liam, fuck.” He shook his head, straining a little at the arms, but Liam’s grasp on him didn’t falter. “Look, we were invincible pricks and high as a fucking kite when we last did _this_ alright-“  
  
Liam cut him off there. “Doesn’t mean we can’t do it now.” He stated simply, despite knowing a long list of reasons why they couldn’t. He saw them swimming through waves of blues in Noel’s eyes, the ‘I’ve settled’, ‘things changed’ and ‘we split up years ago’ being so clear neither of them needed to say the “we shouldn’t.” out loud, yet Noel still did.  
  
There was a brief pause there, one where both seemed to consider their next move. There was a heaviness in the air between them; one filled with the doubt that was lingering between the two. It was if they were standing with bricks in their hands, not sure whether they were breaking the wall between down or building it up again.  
  
 “Just making out.” Liam offered then, “Nothin’ more, nothin’ less.” It was a simple offer and in Liam’s mind one that you couldn’t possibly decline in the right mind, but he could feel the doubt still radiating of his older brother. Liam moved his arm up tentatively, fingers lacing around Noel’s jaw and chin as he slowly angled Noel’s face up a little. “Please.” He added, nothing more than a fragile whisper that easily could be destroyed by the same wind that was carrying it.  
  
“You’re completely bonkers.” Noel said, but there was venom missing from his tone. Instead it gave Liam the little room that he needed, rushing to close the gap between the two of them.  
  
It was a bit of a blur then, elements met and waves rolled in and the world turned upside down as he felt their lips connect. Movements were clumsy as they were unexpected, neither of the men feeling like they had planned on initiating it but running away with it anyway. There was tension from Noel’s side still. Liam’s hand returned to Noel’s side he tried to smooth out the muscles before settling on his hips, rubbing an irregular pattern there as he was too occupied with other things.  
  
He clung to their contact; took control as he feared Noel would disappear again if he let the reigns slide a little. He bit down softly, not to hurt but rather to make sure Noel knew he wasn’t in the position of control here.  
  
Noel, being the control freak he always was in anything they used to do together –whether it be on stage or at home, made a little noise in protest at that. Liam could feel him tense up once again, but he wasn’t fighting him as much as he would in other situations. Just like a decade or-so ago, Noel still was easily turned submissive once blood started running south. Thus Liam ignored the protest, instead moving his hand to squeeze his bum. The older man groaned, a mix of typical brotherly annoyance and something way more pleasing to Liam; arousal.  
  
He tried to drag Noel to the couch, doing his best to not break the harsh yet loving kissing. Off all things, he definitely had ‘shutting Noel up’ as his main priority. He didn’t need a chorus of “this is wrong”, a reprise of how Noel had protested when they first kissed back in their room in Burnage. In every way he had always clung to his role as older brother, Liam’s pout and kisses being one of the few things to convince him to switch it up and become his partner instead.  
  
Liam had failed at that simple task though, having needed to break apart briefly in order for the two to not just crash on the couch. He sat down, Noel following his movement just half as he remained hovering over him. And there, just as expected, it was.  
  
“I can’t,” Noel said, words feeling heavy on Liam’s chest.  
  
Liam blinked up at him, trying his best to look like the younger version of him that Noel would fuck in a heartbeat. He tugs on Noel’s shirt, insistent yet more gentle than in his previous moves. The younger brother took the time to look up at Noel now, seeing the flush on his cheeks and the dilated pupils, but also the definite ‘no’ in his brows. It was contradicting in a way only a Gemini could pull off.  
“Fuck-“ Noel rubbed his hand across his face, visibly aging with the movement indicating how tired he is. “Look, I’ve moved on. I’m genuinely happy where I am now.” He sighed, dropping his hand now as he looked awfully uncomfortable.  
  
“Without me,” Liam stated.  
  
Noel nods, swallowing and taking a step back to stand up straight. Liam’s hands drop aimlessly next to his side now they’ve lost the contact with his older brother. He’d started to realize that maybe Noel wasn’t as easy to convince as he would’ve been before.  
  
“You get jealous,” Liam opened his mouth to protest, but Noel talks over him as if he hadn’t seen the attempt at interrupting. “I’m in a different stage of my life now, you’re still in the 90s. You think you’re on top of the world, but nobody gives a fuck about you – us anymore. I’ve decided how I want to spend the next years of my life, I’m looking at the fucking future here. Grow up kid, we can’t pull off this sick—thing anymore.”  
  
Liam glares up at him, nails digging in the fabric of the cushion.  
  
“I can’t be your fucking brother if you don’t realize I can’t be more than that,” Noel moves away now, taking a couple steps back as if he knows how badly Liam wants to punch him. Then again, given their given history – he probably does know exactly that.  
  
“I hate you,” Liam muttered from the couch. Noel ignores the statement, idly moving around a stack of magazines. “I really fucking hate you and your responsibility and your fake sense of pride and—you bein’ a twat.”  
  
“Save the insults for twitter,” Noel mutters from halfway across the room.  
  
“Fuck you.”  
  
Liam had gotten up, clenching his fists until he knew his knuckles would be as white as they could get. He stood their awkwardly in Noel’s living room, feeling out of place in the midst of how clean it was, and how badly it was influenced by a woman who actually had her life in order. It made him feel like an even bigger chaos and mess on two legs than he even was. He took the time to properly look at Noel, squinting at him as he puts the magazines back in the same place (probably only having switched ‘em around). Unlike him Noel did look at place. Mainly because he was dressed like a proper rich knobhead, hair neatly cut and past success radiating off him in the shape of a well-cut confidence.  
  
It made Liam sick. It made him miss the absolute disaster that was their room in Burnage.  
  
It also made him feel oddly fragile.  
  
“Are you leaving?” Noel asks, making it sound as if it was Liam’s idea, while in fact he knew he hadn’t even suggested anything like that quite yet. “Dunno, maybe,” Liam’s tone is dismissive.  
  
“Can I get a hug?”  
  
Noel freezes, then glances at him in confusion.  
  
“Not kidding. ‘s the least you can do to me,” Liam adds, deciding to not say the ‘rude prick’ that his mind quietly added out loud.  
  
There’s a brief sound that doesn’t even resemble a laugh. “You must be joking,” Noel says, tilting his head a little as he frowns. “Am not,” Liam replies, stretching out his arms in a wildly over exaggerated matter.  
  
“I’m not a good hugger,” Noel tries, feeling exactly as uneasy as Liam had felt a moment before. Good.  
  
“I know,” Liam casually says, “I’m your fucking brother, idiot.”  
  
Noel seems hesitant, but then shrugs as if he’s mentally saying: “Why not?” He moves closer, reluctantly taking up on the invite to a hug as he puts his arms around Liam. It’s awkward, Noel’s head angled aside as if he’s hugging a mother in law, but it’s exactly the kind of awkward Liam had wanted. He takes in a deep breath of Noel’s scent: traces of leather and cigarettes and the faint Gallagher smell he had gotten used to in his bedsheets when he was a young adult.  
  
He lets Noel go before he struggles to much, grinning a toothy smile at him before punching him right in the face.  
  
Liam couldn’t have thought of a better goodbye, except maybe one.  


End file.
